


Throw Me in the Deep End (Watch Me Drown)

by atticrissfinch



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-14
Updated: 2017-03-14
Packaged: 2018-10-05 03:32:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10296524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/atticrissfinch/pseuds/atticrissfinch
Summary: When Magnus wakes up to find Alec not in his bed, where he was last night, he might start to panic. Just a little.





	

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is my first fic in this fandom and I hope I do these beautiful characters justice. A million thanks to brizzbee on tumblr for betaing for me and making sure I don't make any super shitty mistakes about the 'verse.

Magnus has most definitely felt loneliness before, but this kind of loneliness was devastating. The previous night had been positively  _ incandescent _ , consisting of two of Magnus’s favorite pastimes: drinking too much and dancing far too close to not lead to unsavory acts in the bedroom (or wherever else they deemed fit). Apparently the angels had been on his side last night because, for the first time since they had become official, Alec had agreed to stay over. His hair sex-slumped and sweat still drying on his skin, Alec’s eyes fought to stay open as Magnus smiled gently up at him from his boyfriend’s chest. “You know, you can stay. You don’t have to rush back home. Nobody would judge you, dear.”

Alec’s eyes had drifted closed once more, and this time remained that way. “I guess you’re right,” he had mumbled, his hand stroking soft over Magnus’s hair.

“Aren’t I always?” Magnus had teased as he smoothed Alec’s chest hair downward. The corner of Alec’s mouth twitched upwards in response. 

The last words Magnus could make out before he lost the boy to sleep were, “Not even close.” Magnus laughed, now only to himself, and snuggled closer into his boyfriend’s unconscious form. The only thing Magnus could seem to think until he drifted off as well was  _ I never want to fall asleep any other way _ .

Which was exactly why he felt so isolated when the bed was empty that morning. Of course, they had not discussed what would happen if he slept over, but Magnus had assumed he would at least wake him up to say goodbye. Alec’s scent still lingers tantalizingly on the sheets, adding insult to injury. Sighing, Magnus propels himself out of the bed, listening for any sign of his boyfriend. His eyes roam the room and he doesn’t see Alec’s clothing where Magnus had banished them last night. He snaps his fingers and is encased in his silk robe before heading out of the bedroom. 

Living room: nothing. Kitchen: nothing. Dining room: nothing. 

Tears burn as they attempt to escape, but Magnus blinks them away and resolutely gravitates towards his minibar. The vodka and orange juice straining together into his glass calms him minutely, more so when he downs the contents in one go. He flings the martini glass behind him as he meanders back to the bedroom, banishing it just before he senses that it’s about to shatter. That was Magnus—always preventing himself from shattering. The walls go up with reinforced steel, and Magnus closes himself off. He doesn’t have the energy for another full-throttle heartbreak. He vowed long ago that he would never again leave himself open for target practice (emotional  _ or _ literal, he mused). Secure the battlement first, check for damages later. 

The slick fabric surrounding him slinks quickly to the floor as he enters the bathroom, slamming the side of his fist a little too hard against the button on the wall to activate the cascading, triple-mounted open shower. 

As the water heats up, he leans against the marbled counter and mentally criticizes his mirror image. He hadn’t removed  his makeup from yesterday, and the combination of sleep and ravenous sex had smeared glitter and eyeliner in streaks across his cheekbones and temples. Scrunching his face in disgust, the mess vanishes with a puff of blue and gold smoke. Steam billows throughout the room and into the bedroom through the doorway Magnus had left open. The torturously empty bedroom.

Magnus’s head throbs.

The blisteringly hot water helps calm his racing brain, but not much. He lets his head fall backwards, releasing the tension from his core. The unwinding comes slowly, creeping out through his fingertips and toes.  _ It’s fine. If he doesn’t want to stay, he doesn’t have to. It doesn’t matter _ .  He stretches his neck from side to side and runs his hands through his soaked hair. 

Magnus hears a faint noise in the apartment and freezes, whipping his head around to the doorway of the bathroom and narrowing his eyes into attack mode. In an instant the shower shuts off and a towel wraps around his waist. Magic crackles just under the surface of his skin and sparks at his fingertips in preparation as he peeks his head around the doorway. But he is caught entirely off-guard by a very sweaty and shirtless Alec appearing in the doorway from the hallway, glowing and chest heaving. The magic dissolves from Magnus’s hands as he locks eyes with the boy and swallows. He can feel the furrow in his brow and works to smooth it out. “Alexander.”

Alec grins at him, that special grin that Magnus has noticed he seems to reserve just for him. “Hey you... Are you okay?” Concern crosses Alec’s face upon noticing Magnus’s rigidity. 

Magnus tries to reign in his emotions. “Where were you?” 

“I wanted to squeeze in a run before you got up, so I went back the Institute to grab some sweats.” Taking in Alec’s glistening skin, running shoes, and sweats hanging low on his hips, Magnus suddenly feels _atrociously_ foolish for his disproportionate reaction. Alec continues, “But I ended up just deciding to make the run from the Institute back to your place my “run” for the day. I...kind of missed you.” The last sentence is said sheepishly, peering at his shoes with a shy smile before looking back up at Magnus. Alec steps forward and holds a hand out for him. Magnus can’t fight the smile that breaks out at the innocent, gentle offering and steps towards him to take it, squeezing tightly. One little gesture, and all those reinforcements Magnus constructed are already careening towards the ground.

 _How could you doubt this adorably stupid boy, Magnus?_ _After everything you’ve been through? This boy would die for you, and you know it._

“ _ Are _ you okay?” Alec asks him again.

Evidently Alec wields magical abilities of his own, because somehow he can melt every ounce of insecurity that Magnus possesses with a simple smile. “I’m just  _ fine _ now, thank you Alexander,” Magnus responds, winking at the astoundingly attractive being in front of him. 

It seems that Alec has only just now fully processed Magnus’s semi-naked and wet appearance, because suddenly Magnus can see very slight movement beneath the crotch of his sweats. A faint blush from his run had blotched across Alec’s cheeks since he’d first entered the room, but Magnus can see it deepening as his beautiful, bashful boyfriend takes in Magnus’s current state of undress. 

“I—I’m sorry I wasn’t…” Alec stutters out, clearly attempting to fight through his steadily fogging brain, “That I wasn’t there for you to wake up to. I, um…I really was hoping I would have finished my run before you got up,” he finishes, swallowing hard.

Magnus smiles a tad devilishly and raises an eyebrow as he brazenly drags his gaze up and down his lover’s body. “All is forgiven, my darling. I am  _ certain _ you can make it up to me.” Magnus is entranced by the way Alec’s mouth is hanging open slightly in that delectable way it does. Then, to his pleasant surprise, Alec very ostentatiously kneads at the bulge at the front of his pants without breaking eye contact with Magnus.  

“Yeah?” Alec asks breathily, “How…how could I do that?”

A smirk crawls across Magnus’s face as he takes one last long look at Alec before spinning back around towards the bathroom. “I’m sure you can figure it out,” he tosses over his shoulder as he ever so slowly works at the knot of his towel. It piles flawlessly on the ground right as he saunters through the doorway to the bathroom and he flexes his ass just for Alec as it drops. When Magnus hits the button for the shower again, he doesn’t need eyes in the back of his head to know that Alec has come running in after him. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Jsyk, I'm planning on writing a second part where the inevitable porn occurs (because I love my porn ok, it's a problem). Hopefully I get that up soon-ish. But I wanted to leave it how it was because I kind of like how it ended, so I left the second part as optional.
> 
> Thanks for reading, guys! I love comments, and even constructive criticism, so feel free.


End file.
